Looking, tonight, at Baroque nudes I was struck by how familiar these women’s bodies were.
The woman to the left has a soft tummy, thighs and pillowy arms. In short, she looks just like me. And she is gorgeous.
Everything about her flies directly in the face of what we’re told, today, is beautiful, attractive, hot. She’s soft, sensuous and on display, yet not overtly sexual.
This is not a woman who sucks in her stomach, skips lunch or hides her body to meet narrowly defined concepts of beauty.
She lives life to the fullest: eating, loving, experiencing all the joy there is out there.
A few weeks ago, I was under the spell of (probable) swine flu, feeling awful, miserable and ugy. Sitting on the bus coming from downtown, rather than feeling sick, flu-y and congested, I felt fat. I felt fat, ugly and unlovable.
How can it be that my default in times of stress and duress is to feel ugly? Fat? Perpetually unlovable?
That person is not me. I am self-possessed, self-confident and self-loving.
And I’m smart. Too smart to buy into these unattainable (even by those who attain them!) standards. Yet, in moments of weakness I do. All of my kindness, joy, sarcasm, intelligence, passion fly out the window and I am left alone, naked and fat.
What the hell are we doing, raising our daughters, mothers, lovers, friends to feel ugly and alone? To feel their worth comes solely from their fuckability?
Shouldn’t we be teaching our girls (and boys) that worth comes from strength, kindness, wit, passion and joy? That bodies are a home, not a prison?
I believe change comes in ones and twos. One person reading this, recognizing themselves in it and refusing to play the game anymore sows the seed for a million changed lives. That one person will go into their life and teach their children, friends, lovers that bodies are for pleasure. And healthy bodies, be they soft or hard, are beautiful bodies.
And, most importantly, that worth comes from what we do and who we are, not whether we fit into transient classifications of fuckable.
I’ll leave you with two more beautiful bodies: Rembrandt’s Bathsheba and Kasia Suma’s nude.
Excellent post. I would only add one more element to an analysis of these lovely women from the past: are they healthy? Will they live long lives? Of course that is a whole other area of discussion and of course I understand that you can be heavy, active and healthy.
Amazing post. I am a fluffy woman and I too at times just feel fat and thus ugly, but I know deep inside I am beautiful inside and out. I can take my clothes off and look in the mirror, squish my belly and really, honestly think “yes, you are beautiful” despite how society and their extreme and unattainable thinness makes me feel. Bravo and thank you.